And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part

I think the prospect of my upcoming course is terrifying me so much, every time I think about writing, I freeze up.

No I’m joking. At least partly.

I’ve occupied myself the past few days (in between meeting people, catching up and other more productive things) with replaying FFVIII, but I’ve gotten rather depressed in the 3rd CD where Squall gets all moony and I LUFF YOU RINOA -.-. I was actually starting to think he was rather cool and wondering why I’ve never really liked him and then I remembered. On the other hand, Rinoa is as annoying as I remembered.

On the other hand, now, thirteen years after I first picked up the game, I finally understand the card game and the (horrendous) junctioning system, so I’m having a lot more fun with it.

As for Chrono Cross, I’ve put it on hold after the big swap (the game is 13 years old, should I put up spoilers?), because I get sad when the swap is reversed. It’s as if one second I’m all cool and rawr and sexay, and then . . . meh.

rain rain come again..I’ll hang a teru teru bozu upside down to summon you

Due to the prevailing Malaysian attitude towards being on time (and time in general, i.e. it happens to other people), my family and I (currently consisting of dad, mom and me) sat down to eat a lunch with eight (larges) dishes (and counting). As usual, the sight of so much food right in front of me that the three of us can not possibly finish induced the usual nausea. I have severe objections to overfull tables with not enough eaters, simply because of the implication that I will have to do more eating (though this isn’t the case today, it’s the Malaysian attitude mentioned earlier delaying everyone else).

In preparation for this glut of food, I was grating fruit rind when inevitably, I grated myself, giving a more sinister (and literal) meaning to the name blood oranges. Thanks to my rather faulty hand eye coordination and general fumble handedness, if I ever pick up a knife to cut something when my parents are around, less that a minute later, they will remove the knife from my hands and carry out the task themselves.

I’ve just killed one of my greatest nemeses, so I’m happy. If only there weren’t so many of those evil bloodsucking things And my brother isn’t here to attract their attention (they like him more >( ).
Anyway, happy new year everyone

I need to stop dreaming about celebrities I don’t even like :/

…or maybe I have some sort of hidden passion for them.

First it was Bieber, now…

*drumroll*

…

…

…

…

…

…

I’m so ashamed I have difficulty admitting it.

Anyway.

Yeah.

So, instead of shilly-shallying…

Anyway, last night, I dreamt I was dating…

…

YES I JUDGE MYSELF TOO, BOOHOO.

I was dating the vampire, not the actor. I’m not sure if that’s better or worse.

He was not a creepy stalker in said dream (which is good), and the dream itself was actually fairly exciting, involving plunging off really tall buildings (à la Yuna from FFX – instead of having an aeon save me, I had a vampire instead), and various injuries including the backs of people’s heads coming off, pieces of skull and all… (since they were vampires, they were all right in the end; I think this is due to all the police procedural dramas I’ve been watching, i.e. Unforgettable, CSI, The Mentalist)… all in all it would have been a thoroughly entertaining dream, except for the fact that I was infatuated with him. *shudders*. (maybe my secret fangirl is going squeee inside? -.- )

The only reason I could think of for this is because I’ve been reading a certain very entertaining blog :<

P.S. If I was going to dream about vampires, I can think of many many others I would infinitely prefer – all of the non-sparkly variety, and generally better looking with kickbutt powers, or at least more interesting personalities, e.g. Lestat (Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles), Kuran Kaname (Vampire Knight), Alucard (Hellsing), and my favourites Saya & Haji from Blood+.

how I’ve been spending my time

A common question people ask me nowadays is how do I pass my time, since I’m essentially bumming til I get home.

Aside from running the various errands I need to get done before I leave and blogging excessively, I opened my fridge yesterday to find that my houseguest had left me yet another souvenir, aside from the new OCD, a sock, milk and moldy fruits (don’t ask -.-).

I had not really been planning on eating/cooking at home for my last week here, but when one has an almost full carton of eggs, one has to do something. I had an omelette of sorts for dinner yesterday (I am hopeless with fried eggs, so it wasn’t really an omelette -.-) and baked a swiss roll. Tried out a new pan I had, which allowed me to make a thicker swiss roll. It was unfortunately a little burnt, and also, a little low on filling, which I will explain soon. Remains yummy, but hardly photo-worthy.

The swiss roll recipe I use is very egg intensive (9 egg yolks and 6 egg whites) but makes up for that by having no butter, and a very minimal amount of vegetable/olive oil. With that I can lie to myself and say that it’s healthy. As usual, the remaining egg whites went into macarons (the reason why the swiss roll had not enough filling :/).

Yes, their feet are a little small, but that’s because the mixture was a little wet today (I modified the recipe again ^^”), and I wasn’t willing to wait the four hours for it to dry completely. Also because I was in great fear of overcooking – I forgot the advice that it’s ok to slightly overcook them until it was too late :/ – they are a little bit undercooked.

It’s been too long since I last made them, obviously :C.

Aside from the tiny feet, I count them among my successes, xD . Haven’t tasted them yet since they need to sit overnight (*shrug*), but I think they should be pretty good.

And if you were wondering what flavour they are, do you even need to ask ? Earl grey of course. They have a raspberry and white chocolate filling… using up all the junk in my fridge :X.

even your dreams aren’t as fun when you grow up :C

So last night I dreamt that I was given a million ten million (I keep saying one, for some reason it’s a more comfortable number and perhaps more believable)..sorry, went off track… anyway ten million dollars, USD to be very precise.

Instead of getting around to a lot of fun stuff to be done with that amount of money, in my dream, I handed it over to a friend to open an account for me and to let it be invested.

I MEAN WHY?! There are a lot more fun things that I could have done!!! It was a dream!

The only good part was I woke up and told my friend about it, and hoped that it would be a prophetic dream. And soon. Lol.

the downfalls of friendship

I’m just kidding. I love my friends, but there are certain things that I am now painfully reminded of, especially since one of my friends who had been staying with me for a month just left. She influenced me on a certain number of things and because we stayed together for a month, I already miss…

1) Watching TV together.
When it’s just me and my housemate at home, I tend to just hermit in my room. I’m starting to miss the TV shows I was starting to enjoy i.e. unforgettable, the mentalist, big bang theory and the various CSIs being the standouts :/ I don’t want to follow them online/download/etc because I already have over 6 dramas, 4 anime and dunno how many concerts I have on hold to watch >< . Plus over ten books I haven’t read. I also think I enjoy having a running commentary when watching tv shows. Really enhances my viewing experience .

2) Having someone to deal with the raw meat.
I really really really REALLY dislike the feeling of touching…raw chicken. I deal better with the other sorts of meat but raw chicken is just an ew ew ew. Now I have to wash and de-skin my own chicken once again when I cook at home. Totally depressing.

And things I am not happy about…

1) Choosing beans.
Thanks for introducing new OCD-like behaviour. My life now is totally improved >( . I spent over five minutes and almost ten at the supermarket today picking beans. Ugh.

and the second thing:

2) That bicycle song.
This one isn’t my houseguest’s fault. It’s someone else’s fault that this is now stuck in my head. Gee, thanks chingoo. :C This was honestly not a song I needed in my life. ((( :CCC

 

Speaking of books I haven’t finished, ever since I read Sharon Shinn’s Archangel, I’ve been haunted (is that the right word?) by the image of a woman waking up under the wings of an angel. There was just something there in that chapter of the book that was just so vivid. After looking it up on her official site, I found out that the author started writing the book (backwards and forwards) from that scene which she also said was the clearest in her head or something along those lines, which would explain why it was so gripping… though if I went on that sort of logic, the image of Edward Cullen sparkling in a field next to Bella would be equally memorable, since S.Meyer started off from that scene too ._. …but anyway, forget sparkly vampires, give me a flawed angel anyday SPOILERSPOILER mecha bioengineered humans?!!?! SPOILERSPOILER.

…in other random bursts of thoughts, last night I couldn’t sleep because I was haunted (and I think this one is definitely used correctly) by the word….quintessential. First I remembered all its synonyms but couldn’t remember the word; then after I finally remembered it I just couldn’t stop thinking of it.

I want to rewatch Blood+ :/ but at 50 episodes it’s a bit too long for casual rewatching ><

rage.

I can’t complain about this (enough) in 140 characters so I had to post about it.

How can anyone accuse Garth Nix (who is the one of the most original mainstream fantasy authors to emerge since I don’t know when) of plagiarism…especially about Harry Potter of all things?!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Does said reviewer not have any literary experience BESIDES HP? (in that case, he/she does not deserve to be a reviewer >( ). Reviewer probably doesn’t even understand what plagiarism is, if complaining that the “boarding school” in Sabriel mooches off HP. Did reviewer even read Sabriel properly? (to be honest, if Sabriel reminds me of anything, Tamora Pierce’s Song of the Lioness would come to mind first – feisty female main character with MAGIC, Duke somethingsomething who is Uncle/brother to the royalty, SPOILER SPOILER betrayal of the royal family… – though they are very different books so plagiarism is totally out in this case too).

Aside from the fact that it was published first, the Abhorsen series (Sabriel is the first book) is fantastic. Though the series is much shorter compared to HP, it’s better (by miles, yards, enjoyability, whatever unit you use to measure book fantasticness). Characterisation, pacing, writing style (yes, I know JK Rowling is a good writer but her books did not grip me the way the Abhorsen books, particularly Lirael, did), cover art (lol; though I should note, not the American ones, ew)… all were superior >(. If you want to talk about creative reimaginings, Garth Nix’s necromancers are of a class I have never encountered (an original magic system is REFRESHING). And Lirael is a masterpiece on its own (yes, I keep harping on Lirael because despite being a second/middle book, it’s possibly the best of the series. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Google “middle book syndrome” or “second book syndrome” and see the hits. Actually, forget about the middle book syndrome. Lirael would be a fantastic stand alone book).

(I mean, look at his name. He’s totally meant to be a fantasy writer! XD Yes, “logic”. But I’m not the only fan who thinks that way of him)

Muddling angry rant finally done.

smiling like sheldon…

So apparently, according to one of my friends, sometimes when I smile, I smile like Sheldon. We’ve been watching a fair bit of Big Bang theory together (as well was Unforgettable, the various CSIs, the Mentalist and HIMYM) and I was going to take it as a compliment until I googled “Sheldon Cooper smiling”.

The images I found had lovely examples such as:

and

to be honest, I think Jim Parsons has a pretty good smile normally

So at the moment I’m still reserving judgement on how gratified/offended I should feel at that offhand comment.

In other news, it is the last day of Nanowrimo..and I have only written 20000 words :/ FAIL.  It is however, 10 000 more than I wrote last year. Which means if I keep this up, I’ll be able to complete a Nanowrimo in 2014 o.O.

if the world I dreamt of exists somewhere, shall we go search for it?

I guess I should be a little bit ashamed. After deciding to do my best for Nanowrimo, once again I’ve fallen short. With only 20000 words done, I’m sadly behind, and only massive effort will bring me up to the 50000 mark. I’ve reconciled myself with the fact that the story isn’t going to go where I want it to, and I simply want to be able to reach the goal without worrying too much about plot, content or even grammar.

It’s going to be a tough nine days, but I’ll work it out somehow.

Moving on, I tend not to finish shows I really like, or to be exact, I tend to drag out the last few episodes as long as I can (which is why, with Natsume Yuujinchou, I haven’t even watched the third season because I’m waiting for the 4th to be released, or I’ll be too depressed when it ends :/). I finished Spice and Wolf maybe about 2 months ago and I’m still mourning over the fact that there’s no more of it left.

Leaving you with the first opening song, my favourite from the series.

Obliviousness ~ the faceless angel

Liberal reimagination of  Oblivious ～顔のない天使～ by the delectable Gackt-sama.

Not a translation. Because even if I put my (mediocre) skills to translate, it would hardly make sense and the lyrical beauty of the original will be lost anyway. It’s probably about 50-60% accurate to the actual content that he’s singing.
Because it will be four years tomorrow.

The ghostly memories of children’s laughter mingle with the rising swarm of dancing dragonflies; both fade away into the darkness. Those left behind gather the bodies of their dead, crying out their anguish as the flowers are scattered by the storms. I’m left holding on to one who has fallen silent forever. Your face, always so dear and familiar, has already begun to fade from my mind. Though my heart screams your name over and over again, no sound escapes my lips. 

Restless souls are wandering these desolate streets, or it is just the wind whistling over the fallen leaves? Summer has ended and I have lost you, my faceless angel. Weeping, I try to cling onto your shadow, but I wake to find myself alone again. Far too suddenly, you disappeared where I cannot follow, leaving me with nothing but pain. Your name resonates endlessly in my being, but I can no longer say it out loud for there is no one to answer to it. 

Time marches on inexorably, but whenever I close my eyes, the memories of our happiness still leave me weeping. Even the thought that you are silently watching over me is scant comfort, as my heart, too full for words, cries out only for you.

Goodbye, my forever sleeping love. Even now, you are my dearest beloved. Your name is still what I call out even when I cannot speak, over and over again with no hope of any reply.

A video of a live performance. If I’m not mistaken (I didn’t watch the full concert), it’s part of a main storyline where he’s an ex-soldier turned android who still retains some very vague memories of the past. Gackt has very dead eyes when he wants to go that way ._. Gackt-sama, why must you always write songs with super beautiful and SUPER COMPLICATED lyrics that always make me want to cry when I listen to them >( .