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even your dreams aren’t as fun when you grow up :C

7 Dec

So last night I dreamt that I was given a million ten million (I keep saying one, for some reason it’s a more comfortable number 😛 and perhaps more believable)..sorry, went off track… anyway ten million dollars, USD to be very precise.

Instead of getting around to a lot of fun stuff to be done with that amount of money, in my dream, I handed it over to a friend to open an account for me and to let it be invested.

I MEAN WHY?! There are a lot more fun things that I could have done!!! It was a dream!

The only good part was I woke up and told my friend about it, and hoped that it would be a prophetic dream. And soon. Lol.

the downfalls of friendship

7 Dec

I’m just kidding. I love my friends, but there are certain things that I am now painfully reminded of, especially since one of my friends who had been staying with me for a month just left. She influenced me on a certain number of things and because we stayed together for a month, I already miss…

1) Watching TV together.
When it’s just me and my housemate at home, I tend to just hermit in my room. I’m starting to miss the TV shows I was starting to enjoy i.e. unforgettable, the mentalist, big bang theory and the various CSIs being the standouts :/ I don’t want to follow them online/download/etc because I already have over 6 dramas, 4 anime and dunno how many concerts I have on hold to watch >< . Plus over ten books I haven’t read. I also think I enjoy having a running commentary when watching tv shows. Really enhances my viewing experience :P.

2) Having someone to deal with the raw meat.
I really really really REALLY dislike the feeling of touching…raw chicken. I deal better with the other sorts of meat but raw chicken is just an ew ew ew. 😦 Now I have to wash and de-skin my own chicken once again when I cook at home. Totally depressing.

And things I am not happy about…

1) Choosing beans.
Thanks for introducing new OCD-like behaviour. My life now is totally improved >( . I spent over five minutes and almost ten at the supermarket today picking beans. Ugh.

and the second thing:

2) That bicycle song.
This one isn’t my houseguest’s fault. It’s someone else’s fault that this is now stuck in my head. Gee, thanks chingoo. :C This was honestly not a song I needed in my life. :(((( :CCC


Speaking of books I haven’t finished, ever since I read Sharon Shinn’s Archangel, I’ve been haunted (is that the right word?) by the image of a woman waking up under the wings of an angel. There was just something there in that chapter of the book that was just so vivid. After looking it up on her official site, I found out that the author started writing the book (backwards and forwards) from that scene which she also said was the clearest in her head or something along those lines, which would explain why it was so gripping… though if I went on that sort of logic, the image of Edward Cullen sparkling in a field next to Bella would be equally memorable, since S.Meyer started off from that scene too ._. …but anyway, forget sparkly vampires, give me a flawed angel anyday SPOILERSPOILER mecha bioengineered humans?!!?! SPOILERSPOILER.

…in other random bursts of thoughts, last night I couldn’t sleep because I was haunted (and I think this one is definitely used correctly) by the word….quintessential. First I remembered all its synonyms but couldn’t remember the word; then after I finally remembered it I just couldn’t stop thinking of it.

I want to rewatch Blood+ :/ but at 50 episodes it’s a bit too long for casual rewatching ><

smiling like sheldon…

30 Nov

So apparently, according to one of my friends, sometimes when I smile, I smile like Sheldon. We’ve been watching a fair bit of Big Bang theory together (as well was Unforgettable, the various CSIs, the Mentalist and HIMYM) and I was going to take it as a compliment until I googled “Sheldon Cooper smiling”.

The images I found had lovely examples such as:


to be honest, I think Jim Parsons has a pretty good smile normally

So at the moment I’m still reserving judgement on how gratified/offended I should feel at that offhand comment. 🙂

In other news, it is the last day of Nanowrimo..and I have only written 20000 words :/ FAIL.  It is however, 10 000 more than I wrote last year. Which means if I keep this up, I’ll be able to complete a Nanowrimo in 2014 o.O.

if the world I dreamt of exists somewhere, shall we go search for it?

21 Nov

I guess I should be a little bit ashamed. After deciding to do my best for Nanowrimo, once again I’ve fallen short. With only 20000 words done, I’m sadly behind, and only massive effort will bring me up to the 50000 mark. I’ve reconciled myself with the fact that the story isn’t going to go where I want it to, and I simply want to be able to reach the goal without worrying too much about plot, content or even grammar.

It’s going to be a tough nine days, but I’ll work it out somehow.

Moving on, I tend not to finish shows I really like, or to be exact, I tend to drag out the last few episodes as long as I can (which is why, with Natsume Yuujinchou, I haven’t even watched the third season because I’m waiting for the 4th to be released, or I’ll be too depressed when it ends :/). I finished Spice and Wolf maybe about 2 months ago and I’m still mourning over the fact that there’s no more of it left.

Leaving you with the first opening song, my favourite from the series.

Obliviousness ~ the faceless angel

17 Nov

Liberal reimagination of  Oblivious ~顔のない天使~ by the delectable Gackt-sama.

Not a translation. Because even if I put my (mediocre) skills to translate, it would hardly make sense and the lyrical beauty of the original will be lost anyway. It’s probably about 50-60% accurate to the actual content that he’s singing.
Because it will be four years tomorrow.

The ghostly memories of children’s laughter mingle with the rising swarm of dancing dragonflies; both fade away into the darkness. Those left behind gather the bodies of their dead, crying out their anguish as the flowers are scattered by the storms. I’m left holding on to one who has fallen silent forever. Your face, always so dear and familiar, has already begun to fade from my mind. Though my heart screams your name over and over again, no sound escapes my lips. 

Restless souls are wandering these desolate streets, or it is just the wind whistling over the fallen leaves? Summer has ended and I have lost you, my faceless angel. Weeping, I try to cling onto your shadow, but I wake to find myself alone again. Far too suddenly, you disappeared where I cannot follow, leaving me with nothing but pain. Your name resonates endlessly in my being, but I can no longer say it out loud for there is no one to answer to it. 

Time marches on inexorably, but whenever I close my eyes, the memories of our happiness still leave me weeping. Even the thought that you are silently watching over me is scant comfort, as my heart, too full for words, cries out only for you.

Goodbye, my forever sleeping love. Even now, you are my dearest beloved. Your name is still what I call out even when I cannot speak, over and over again with no hope of any reply.

A video of a live performance. If I’m not mistaken (I didn’t watch the full concert), it’s part of a main storyline where he’s an ex-soldier turned android who still retains some very vague memories of the past. Gackt has very dead eyes when he wants to go that way ._. Gackt-sama, why must you always write songs with super beautiful and SUPER COMPLICATED lyrics that always make me want to cry when I listen to them >( .

Oh please tell me what they looked like, did they seem afraid of you?

16 Nov

“I had a dog once. I thought so much of him that when he died I couldn’t bear the thought of getting another in his place. He was a friend–you understand, Mistress Blythe? Matey’s only a pal. I’m fond of Matey–all the fonder on account of the spice of devilment that’s in him–like there is in all cats. But I loved my dog. I always had a sneaking sympathy for Alexander Elliott about his dog. There isn’t any devil in a good dog. That’s why they’re more lovable than cats, I reckon. But I’m darned if they’re as interesting.”  L.M. Montgomery, Anne’s House of Dreams.

I think I will somehow contrive to get all my kids to read books by L.M. Montgomery, disregarding gender (I won’t force the boys into Jane Austen). There’s just something beautiful in how she describes things that I would like them to be able to appreciate. I will have to think of a way to make them want to read it as opposed to forcing them.

And then we’ll read James Herriot together for fun, and laugh over his animal stories. I’ll throw in Pterry’s YA books and let them run with his longer ones when they get older. Garth Nix and Tamora Pierce will also definitely be staples.

It will break my heart if they don’t like reading (but I’ve also read somewhere that it’s all about exposure.. most, if not all people love a good story at least, and even if they hate it at the start, there’s ways to get them interested >) ).

My Nanowrimo progress has abruptly slowed.. I gave in to those two characters running around in my head and threw them headfirst into the story. They responded by demanding to appear multiple times in various guises. Perhaps until I tell their story fully, they’re going to continue to insist on forcing their way into everything else I write. They know the current world isn’t entirely theirs so they’re messing it up to suit them :/ .

I’m also quite interested to note that the work of an author that I am increasingly admiring is possibly being turned into a movie. Although The Shapechanger’s Wife is my least favourite of all her books I’ve ever read, admittedly, it would probably make a better movie that some of her other things that I like much better. The site is quite pretty, and I’m hoping to eventually see the actual movie. I’m actually quite happy that Aubrey’s getting a chance – he’s probably one of the least irritating “knowledge-seekers” that I’ve come across in a long time. Take Taran of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander; I just reread the series and spent quite a few moments screaming at his incompetence, over confidence and the fact he’s constantly getting knocked out for extended periods of time (without sustaining substantial brain damage. Hm.) He does win points for eventually developing into a character well worth liking. The screaming did seem to be amusing to my current houseguest though.

evil overlord dreams, here I come!

3 Nov

I dreamt that I had the charge of a fairly large group of adults and teenagers, and for some reason, two of them took it in their heads to be angry at authority and started spray painting large angry messages on the ground in front of a public building (by the end of it, the level of grafitti art skill was pretty impressive). Most of the group took to joining them, despite the three leaders trying to rein them in.

It was then I had my big crisis of leadership moment, and … I called the cops to report some young vandals for destroying public property. The two co-leaders were slightly iffy at first but warmed up to the idea.

After that, the other two leaders and I rounded them all up by cutting them off one by one from the main group  – divide and conquer? (I think we didn’t use whips, only our voices, but my memory on that is a little hazy) and bundled them into a room and proceeded to give all of them all a scathing lecture, afterwhich we punished the ringleaders with solitary confinement.

I’m hoping for something even closer to an evil overlord dream the next time.

why is my phone constantly updating nowadays?

28 Oct

Anyway thanks to the strangeness of my phone, I didn’t get to take pictures of my groupmates and me all happy at the pub in uni after our presentation when we went for celebratory drinks (dinna fash yoursel, I had a cider, though we were joking that we should get sploshed on campus just for kicks). We were joined by my two supervisors, and had a long conversation consisting largely of biology. Feral animals. Snakes. Insects. And a little bit on IVF and autism ._o. Judging by the enthusiasm when we were talking about fauna, I’d say a few people missed their calling…though someone did sum it up as “There’s no jobs and no money in biology.”

Now that everything is finally over, besides cleaning my room and getting the rest of my life in order, I realised that I’ve accumulated a backlog of books I want to read (or re-read). My end goal is 12th December (because I don’t want to carry them all the way back to M’sia) so:

1) Old Kingdom Chronicles, Garth Nix. 3 books and a novella in total. Lowest priority since I already have them in M’sia too but I feel like reading them now. 
2)  The Hidden Star, The Native Goddess, both by MK Hobson
3) The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Patricia C. Wrede, 4 books
4) Wintersmith, I Shall Wear Midnight, both by Pterry
5) Elenium and Tamuli, David and Leigh Eddings, I just finished the first book so 5 more. Also low priority cos these are on my computer and I have the hardcopies at home
6) The Chronicles of Prydain, Lloyd Alexander (6 books counting The Foundling)
7) Archangel by Sharon Shinn
8) A Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale
9) All three of Glenda Larke’s trilogies (9 books in all).

34. I don’t know how I’ll get this done short of locking myself in my room and spurning all social interaction.. ><. Or not sleeping.


..I also have two more Carrie Ryan zombie novels, one Mercedes Lackey, a Stephen Deas, three Jennifer Roberson and two books by Gene Wolfe that I can’t bring myself to finish/start for various reasons (generally the stories are either too realistic and nitty gritty which tends to depress me or too hammy/cheesy).


Of course this doesn’t include all the anime and manga I want to watch/read ❤

when I’m all depressed from studying…

11 Oct

…I look at pictures of my dog.

Indeed, does that not look like that face of profound suffering? Or at least boredom?

Furthermore, doesn’t that look like an extremely uncomfortable position to be in? Yet he persists.
He can  fall  asleep just sitting that way.

So I learn from my doggie, in the face of difficulty…keep going on? XD

(though he has a choice to adjust to a more comfortable position. I on the other hand have to keep studying :/)


Alternative interpretation: I’m not exactly comfortable where I am but it takes too much effort to move so I’ll just bear with it.

… 😛

a quiet sort of…

15 Sep

When a man is getting better he understands more and more clearly the evil that is still left in him- C.S. Lewis

I don’t think I’m getting any better, but then after all, I’m not a man 😛

Peter Galen Massey

Haiku, Book Reviews, Commentary & The Occasional Nonsense


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